I've come to the conclusion, again, that the internet is a bad bad thing sent only to mess with the minds of new mums. On it, you can find all the answers. Like actually ALL the answers, so that you come away with no answer at all - just a sense of fear and paralysis that clearly you're doing it wrong because every way is wrong as far as someone on the internet is concerned. I know this. I've been here before. I've read the books and blogs and forums. I've memorized theories, strategies, philosophies. I've realised that everything contradicts everything else. I've put it aside, understood that babies are unpredictable and everything is a phase and I should just trust my gut. And then I've had two weeks of being woken up every two hours and have returned once again to the fountain of all information.
This week I decided to attempt putting him down to sleep semi awake - because the internet told me to. W had other ideas though. He's almost certainly a mind reader. And when I came to put him down without our usual count and rock and repeat dance, as I prepared to stay there with him singing and stroking but not rocking or nursing, he just stayed asleep. I put him in his crib, his eyes flickered open, closed, he gave a groan, rolled over onto his stomach and stayed asleep some more. Six hours more. And then after feeding, he did the same thing with the staying asleep for six more hours. And then he did it again last night. It's not officially sleeping through the night, but who the heck cares. He's in the 90th percentile for height and weight. If I was in the 90th percentile for height and weight I think I'd want a midnight snack.
I'm not counting any sheep just yet. I still haven't forgiven myself for uttering the words 'I think we've cracked the sleep thing' about 4 months ago (stupid woman). I am feeling slightly more alive for the first time in a long time.
Take that, internet. (she says as she joins the ranks of sleep stories and opinions on the internet).
